When the unexpected happens
Such as life would have it, I am writing to you after another unexpected pause. Many of you have quietly and kindly reached out to me over the past few weeks after noticing an alarming “out on medical leave” note on my Instagram and email away message. Not to get too personal, but I wanted to share some updates on what that was about.
if healing is what we're striving for, then why is it so triggering?
It’s taken me some time to determine how I can reintroduce myself on the blog after my Hayley hiatus. I’ve started by trying to write a recap blog and filming myself sharing the experience but nothing really felt - for lack of a better word - authentic. Mostly because I would feel myself spiraling when reliving the experience. I start to word vomit some not so nice things about myself or sob in front of my camera about how uncomfortable I am with all of this. You don’t want to see that footage, I promise you…
Rewriting your skin story
When it comes to our skin, it’s easy to fall into categories that are very limiting to growth or change. If you have dry skin, you’re immediately meant to get wrinkles faster. If you have oily skin, your pores will forever be clogged and you’ll most likely breakout. If you have sensitive skin, then you better watch out for every product or procedure out there because you’ll most likely have a reaction from it. Come on people, it’s 2019. It’s time we rewrite our skin stories.
How To Cleanse your Skin!
Imagine a morning without coffee, a night without netflix or starting your car without keys. All of these scenarios have missing parts that just don’t make sense. That’s exactly how I feel about a skincare routine with no cleansing. It simply doesn’t work. Cleansing your skin is something that more often than not is done incorrectly. As the first step to your skincare routine it is often skipped over or done way too quickly. In order to have your skincare routine work effectively you must prepare your skin for success. This post is bringing it back to basics to bring you the proper education on how to cleanse your skin.
2018; the year of finally loving the skin you're in
I honestly can’t believe we are in our last week of 2017. I know that when 2017 started I was sitting high with expectations but was also riddled with anxiety with what was to come. The shifts that have occurred were not always what I expected. Some have been what I have feared, but others have truly changed me for the better. Now I feel grounded in what I anticipate may be the first ever year I finally feel comfortable in my skin. It’s easy to look like you have it all together but when certain things finally do click in your life it can shift your entire perspective. I try my very best to educate all of my clients that when they finally surrender to let this shift happen they actually start to love the reflection in the mirror. So today I want to talk about why 2018 is the year of finally loving the skin you’re in…
Express gratitude and embrace change...
When I was in beauty school I remember how a lesson in acne led into one of the most powerful life-changing discussions. We were exploring the root causes of acne and how that can be related to stress on all accounts (physical, emotional, etc.). The simple solution our guest teacher had for stress management was to express gratitude and embrace change. At 18, this had me totally shook! It was so simple but it was something I never really sat down to think about how the combination of those two seemingly simple action could turn your entire life, and health, around. My expression of gratitude is a daily practice, however, I do like to take the opportunity to sit deeply on this topic whenever I can. So with Thanksgiving around the corner, I wanted to share my gratitude for the year with all of you. 2017 was not at all what I expected, especially since 2016 felt like we all were hit by a bus. I sort of expected it to be a little easier but with so many life changes it’s easy to think back on it now and realize that this year was going to be a big one. Emotionally, financially, physically, all the things just grew towards a new level I never thought was possible. Without my gratitude practice, I don’t think I could see this year as positively as I do but the old saying still runs true: what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. That’s where the embracing change part creeps in. It’s one thing to express gratitude but when life is throwing you all sorts of curve balls, it’s how you embrace the journey that truly transforms you.
Why you're not taking advice...
At the risk of starting this post like I’m about to go on a rant, I just want to preface that there is some education squeezed in here so keep reading to get to the good stuff. I can’t help but get a little annoyed when a client tells me that they were given advice by someone else when it goes one of two ways. Either the advice is something I’ve been trying to drill in my client’s heads but they seem to only hear it from someone else. Or it’s completely conflicting with my advice but they take it instead! Maybe it’s the youngest child syndrome but I do have a really hard time with people not listening to me. If you take the time to come to see me, spend time telling me everything about your skin and health, and then decide that my advice isn’t for you - that’s one thing. However, I find that the issue lies more with people who are seeking a very specific result are not only completely shutting my advice off but look to me to blame when things aren’t getting better. This may seem harsh, but you can understand my frustration. 95% of my clientele are very compliant and benefit greatly from my feedback because it’s personally tailored to them. So why do the 5% not take the advice? I can’t answer with certainty but my impression (and personal experience with being a client myself) tells me that there is a huge block that needs to come down first.
Facing Fears
It’s easy for me to skip over the synchronicities that lead me to pick the topic of my blog post each week but over the last few days, I faced and realized a couple of fears of mine while hearing a lot of the fears from my clients. Sometimes it’s something as small as the fear of a post facial breakout or it can be as serious as feeling like you can’t look in the mirror without shame. Fear, to me, is simply false evidence appearing real however regardless of the times that I say this and the advice I give to others on how to overcome fear - I still face some major fears that can honestly paralyze me. So what can we do when we still have fears we know we have to face?
Understanding your value and worth.
One of the hardest parts of owning a business for me is the financial side of it. As you may all know by now I’m not a business major who has had a set plan from the start of my business. I was literally left with no other option but to start my own business after leaving my last spa job when I had shingles. Everyone has an opinion when it comes to how much my services are worth but at the end of the day it came down to how much I value myself. Starting this at 27 out of fear of going broke there were many times when I undervalued myself just to get people in the door. What never dawned on me was that when I worked in other offices I was doing $300 services and my clientele never blinked on the cost. So why was it hard for me to recognize that I’m worth the industry standard (and much more).
Becoming attached: Why the rules of dating often apply to my work
When it comes to my relationships with clients it feels like I often have to play by the rules of dating. Over the last decade I feel like I have experienced a non stop rotation of new, existing and returning clients. Every day I get several inquiries about how someone found me and I’m the answer to their skin prayers. I mindfully reply back and then - nothing. Since I have been with my husband for almost 6 years I missed the era of online dating, so I find that I still play a very old school part in courting someone. When a client ghosts me I get confused and think “didn’t you reach out to me?”. I also get broken up with by clients. I find that as strong as my return rate is there are many reasons why some people don’t come back. As an empathetic healer there are a lot of lessons I have to continuously learn again and again because I become heavily invested in each case. Whether a client ghosts me or gives me a very thoughtful reason why they can no longer see me, it still somehow manages to sting. There are many reasons why I think that a service providers clientele continues to evolve. I want to explore what may be holding back from taking the leap you need to trusting the process to finally achieving the skin of your dreams.
Acceptance.
I was so fortunate to celebrate my birthday with some of my favorite people this weekend. I wanted to express my gratitude for those of you who wished me a happy birthday and allowed me to take a much needed digital detox. I had an epiphany of what I was hoping to finally release as my last moments of my 20s wrapped to a close. That epiphany was to work a heck of a lot less. I’ve been working multiple jobs for as long as I can remember and with the obvious physical side effects of overworking it also was a bit of a cover up for me. If I overwork that means that I can live in a cycle of overworking followed by much needed escapism. Escapism is basically an avoidance of self care masking as a reset time. Like binge watching tv, online retail therapy or avoiding exercise with the excuse that it's a necessary day off. A little escapism here and there is totally fine but the most important thing to remember is to actually tune back into your needs when you're off. I'm lucky enough to have a job that is so fulfilling but this decade I'm dedicated to practicing what I preach a little more. This means taking my days off and being just as nice to myself as I advise all of you to be. Let's see how this goes!
Spiritual Awakening.
When coming up with the title to this week’s post I honestly attempted to find synonyms for the word “spiritual”. Nothing seemed to fit the essence of what I wanted to write about so I decided to stick with it however I had a visual of my readers immediately clicking past an article of this subject. What would spirituality have to do with skincare? If you hear me out you will make the connection I promise. The mind, body and spirit approach is necessary for a full recovery for any sort of imbalance going on in our lives. I believe that we all have a strong intuitive sense of what we need. Whether it’s our basic human instincts to choose foods that are will nourish us to who are the people we want to spend our days with. A lot of my daily decisions and practices are based on my intuition. I try to help my clients tap into their intuition by giving them the power to choose what’s best for them and creating connections between mind, body and spirit. Whether it’s by asking the right questions that lead them to the answer they had in them all along, or it’s by honoring them if something is not resonating with them. I don’t force upon a practice that doesn’t work but I also help you breakthrough the blocks when nothing seems to be progressing. It’s taken a long time for me to tap into my own sense of intuition and release some of the blocks that hold me back from living my most abundance life, but it all started with my acceptance of my spiritual path and the awakening it lead me to.
Education.
As I continue on my annual reflective journey with my birthday rapidly approaches, a common theme coming up for me in my daily work is one of education. Whether it’s because of the people who reach out to me for my expertise or the time I spend to educate myself on any of my multiple subjects of interest.I spend a lot of time applying the knowledge I have gained during my time as an esthetician that I have just recently started accepting the role of an educator. Yes, I know I don’t have a teaching degree but the basis of my work centers around education. The tricky part about my line of work is that it isn’t always valued as an esteemed profession. As I previously mentioned in my “perception” and “becoming an esthetician” pieces, I had to trust my instinct and ignore the naysayers when I chose this path.
Perception.
It’s officially August 1st so this means it is the last official month of my 20s. A lot usually comes up for me right before my birthday because I physically feel a chapter writing itself to a close. I become very reflective about where my life is going as well as what I’ve learned from the previous 11 months. I can safely say that my 20s have been a decade of epic growth that I can wax poetic on it all day. Over the last week I have been incredibly fortunate that the universe has graciously presented me with multiple gifts of self care which has helped me tune into my reflective period. Honing into that voice in my head that is screaming at me to finally shed some of the barriers I’ve held up for as long as I remember. The one that screams itself the loudest is simply to be my most authentic self. So as I continue to write I want to dive a little deeper into the themes that has led me to where I am now, living an authentic life of my choosing with the world as my oyster.